Here’s a couple of glamorous photos of me!
The first… March 2020 before I started detox. I’d done 30 days at this point and shed a massive 12 kilos and I was very very proud of myself!
I went charity shop hopping as i was visiting the UK and found this brand new Gap skirt. At the time I was still a good size 18 but I had my eyes on the prize so I paid £5 intending that a 14 would soon fit.
Well, I got it home and saw that it was teeny tiny!
Then I spotted that the labeling was all wrong!
The inside label says 10! My inner critic (Alice) said: ‘you will never ever fit into that! It’s tiny and it’s a size 10. Don’t be disappointed if you never get to wear it. It was only £5 at least you didn’t buy something new’
Its true, I was (still am) long way off being a 10, and it really did look so tiny compared to my body and the clothes I was wearing at the time….but I decided to see just how far I could get it on.
I managed to get it just past my knees.
It has absolutely no stretch in it either.
So it went into the ‘long way off’ box and my inner critic told me to forget about it for a while because it was sooooo teeny tiny and I wasn’t ever going to be teeny tiny!
Then in May I had a brainwave.
What if it’s a US Gap product and therefore a US 10 which is the same as a UK 14 and the charity shop in the UK knew this and therefore labelled it correctly?
And my inner critic said ‘well even if it is, it must be a very small 14 because it was soooooo tiny compared to you!’
But I dug it out and looked at it.
And it didn’t look so tiny anymore.
It still looked too small for me, but not so small that I would never wear it.
So I tried it on and yes! It went over my knees, over my thighs and over my bum!
It wouldn’t zip up though… but that’s ok. I was a size 16/18 so I wouldn’t expect it to.
Today I decided to give it another go. The scales have barely moved (in fact, today they have gone up by 2 kilos!) but I know when I’ve shed fat and I was feeling skinny.
And blow me it goes on and zips up!
It’s not comfortable or wearable yet … and it’s a pencil skirt with no stretch but it doesn’t feel or look quite so teeny tiny anymore and my inner critic has gone back to her corner again.
It’s now hanging in my wardrobe alongside my trousers of truth as my Skirt of Success and it will soon be one of my day to day clothing items.
The moral of the story is that even when you think you have the mindset stuff nailed, your inner critic is still there, trying to protect you from hurt and disappointment.
She doesn’t hate you. She wants to protect you.
Sometime you have to ignore her though and prove to her that she’s wrong!