The second round of healing soon comes to an end!
I’ve supercharged myself with some extra gut loving supplements (glutamine, probiotics and a special immune/gut supporting one) but otherwise I’ve just done the basic plan to the letter.
My weight loss has slowed but that’s normal. My body feels smaller and I can touch the outline of bones that I haven’t felt for a long time. I can see the changes almost daily.
Now and then I notice things in the mirror such as how much bigger my thighs appear now that my knees have got slimmer, or how there’s a jiggly layer of fat on my bum that wasn’t obvious before or how I’ve suddenly got really pronounced hips now that the overhang of my tummy has almost completely gone.
These are all things that I would have hated on in the past. They would have made me look at my body and look back at how hard I’ve worked an I would feel sad that despite losing 44kilos (since November) I’m still fat!!
But that’s not how my mind works these days. I am deliriously happy with how I look today at a size 14. I was happy last month too at a 16 and back in February I was overjoyed to be wearing a size 18 comfortably.
I have never once felt like that before. Because I was always trying to hate myself slim. As though being disgusted with what I saw was more of an incentive to change. And it never worked. Because even if I did change dress size I still hated what I saw. I was never ever going to be happy, I would always want more and invariably I quit before I got there.
These days those imperfections I’m noticing are what makes me happy and excited. I’m noticing them because so many changes are happening and I love watching it happen.
If I can offer one piece of advice, it’s to get to know your body as it is right now. In all it’s succulent glory! Love it.
See which bits wobble when you dance naked around the bathroom. Notice the full parts and the dents and dimples. Search for your collar bone and know that if it’s not visible now, it will be one day. Look at that tummy overhang.. feel the skin and recognise when the little dimples start appearing.
The more you know your body, the more you will notice the small changes that the scales and tape measure are stubbornly refusing to recognise.
My tummy goes from round… to a really odd shape with two dents, as I drop weight. Sometimes I look expecting to see the dents getting bigger and more hollow but they have gone! My tummy is round again…My trousers are a bit snugger… and I worry that I’m going backwards but a few days later new dents have appeared and the whole area is just a little smaller than it was.
It’s not a simple process but the better you know your body the easier it is to recognise the stages as your body shape shifts into its next release.
And love what you see. At first it will feel ridiculous. I really didn’t love what I saw at first but if you tell yourself something often enough you believe it! How many times did you tell yourself you were fat when you really weren’t? You believed that. You have so much power to change what you are just by changing what you believe and that starts with what you tell yourself.
I’m sharing these photos again because they are a great demonstration. My Trousers of Truth!
These are a size 16 from Next in the UK.
Years ago I was a size 12 but these trousers just didn’t fit. They never felt comfortable or looked right.
I have never worn them, although they have been tried on and discarded a thousand times.
In February I put them on and was over joyed to get them past my knees!
In March I tried them on and was able to fasten the buttons.. (I couldn’t breathe!)
In April they moved to my main wardrobe… where they have remained because it’s been too warm to wear them! I predict I will try them on in the autumn and they will be too big!
The point of these photos isn’t to show the trousers. It’s to show my face! Look at how happy I am! In the first 2 photos I’m squeezed in and unable to breathe! Yet I’m like the happy Buddha rubbing his belly and just being happy in the now.
That’s the major difference between the diets I’ve done before and this one. I’m happy today. Not waiting for a magical time to be happy. I’m happy now.